Gone, again. Happens to often now. Want to get up, get my head over the water. I try to do my best, I feel Im doing good. But then I crash back down. I do everything for them. I work for several people. when Im not there, nothing gets done. I cry in my breaks. I need to be alone, some place no one can find me. Invisible.
My inspiration is gone, the reason for me to get out of bed in the morning. He is gone, but he will never let me go.
I have more friends. Always someone to talk to. But I dont feel they are interested, its new people, people who doesnt know me yet. They will get sick of me soon enough. Happenes every time. I dont blame them, Im grumpy or hysterical, sad or happy, angry or kind, up and down.
Looking forward to have the party. Decorate, shop, do my hair and make-up. Hope the smile will be a true one, all night long. Sick of pretending. Sick of pleasing everyone without getting anything back. Sick of hurting, sick of being hurt.
Shes verything thing to me...
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